Moments

The time that passes everyday is not something that is easily held on to. Moments pass, and you are never truly able to go back in time and relive them. That is of course if you capture that moment by camera. The amount of photos I have of Baby L is outrageous. Would I trade them for a million bucks? Never. I never truly notice how much bigger Baby L has grown. Due to me being a stay at home mom, those moments just blend in with the every day life. Of course friends and family who haven't seen her in sometime notice. I feel bad about that. I see her everyday and I don't notice she grew an inch. Its amazing. Every day is a moment that you can cherish, and make it something worth remembering. Those moments where your child decides to decorate her face with mommies makeup, the picnic at the park, or the special day you spend together just watching movies. Those are all memories that no matter how big or small, we as parents should treasure. I don't know if I will ever have another child. If I don't I am ok with that. I have Baby L, and she is the most precious gift I have received yet. I am a lucky woman to be able to be her mom. I hold on to that. I hold on to what I can. I take pictures because I know that I might forget the simple pleasures of having a tiny little child. I might forget that even through the tough times, there was always triple the amount of good times. Life moves way too fast and everything passes us by. But when Baby L grows up what will I have. Hopefully I will have succeeded in raising a wonderful child who will turn in to an amazing woman. All I will have are my memories. Those ones that I captured of her with bright red lips due to sneaking in my makeup. And those are what I will cherish the most.

Losing it

I'm sure most moms might be just like me. 

They have their darling precious bundles of joy. 

They lose the weight from breast feeding. 

They look GREAT! 

And then, they gain some weight BACK!

Like really?! This is not what I thought it would be like. 

I myself was sure that because I am a young mom, my body would simply bounce back

I was clearly misinformed. 

I am on a mission. A mom mission. 

To lose every inch and every pound that is hiding my amazing figure ;)

I know what you're thinking. But its true. It has to be there. 

There is a great figure hiding underneath it all. 

I hate when other moms say, Oh you look great! 

They clearly don't know what being over weight means. 

And if they do well I know its because to them, I just might look like the better option.

In reality I am at the heaviest I have ever been. 

This is my weight issue. I know I can do better. And why shouldn't I?

Layla has a right to have a mom who doesn't worry about her weight. 

Who is healthy. Who can take care of herself. 

Because that alone can do wonders for any mom. 

I want to feel good for myself and to know that I am making and setting the best example

For my daughter 

So I run, and if I don't run I walk. I walk really fast. I figure if I don't want to jog

I should at least get moving in some form. Walking will do. I walk fast though 

So fast that the sweat drops off me as if I just showered.

This baby weight or whatever it might be. Needs to come off

I will not stop. I will push on. I will make sure my portions are small. And I will eat often

I will also allow myself to have cheat days and guilt free days. 

I am making this a way of life. Because to me, that is the only way this is going to work

I will do this for my daughter, but most importantly for myself. 

So here is to being healthy and making the right choices. 

 Raspberries 

 At the top of the mountain

 We made it! 

 What a view right?

 Layla loves to get out in the fresh sun!

We made it! 

This walk up to the top of Mt. Rubidoux was only about 3 miles total both ways. I generally do 3 miles each night so that was nothing, but let me tell you my butt muscles really got a workout!

Happiest Place On Earth

So this summer we were super lucky enough to have one of my friends from high school invite us on her daughters first trip to Disneyland. I hadn't seen my friend in about ten years. (Starting to feel old now) It was a wonderful day, super hot but none the less fun! My wonderful friend Amber had us take in some of the things we usually never see at Disneyland. A couple of the shows and even a couple of the rides that we generally skip. Layla was super shy through out the day. I was waiting for her to open up to Amber's daughter who is close in age, but once again Layla never surprises me. I was able to catch one photo of the two little girls as Amber and her husband were on a ride. All and all we had a great day and if it was up to me having a pass to Disneyland should be just as required as having medical! Its THAT good for you! 

 

Challenge Complete

Ok so Im sure for most parents teaching their children how to do simple things like how to pull up their pants, change their shirt. Wash their hands and so on, is a simple task. Well as I find many of them have been simple the one I couldn't for the life of me was try and teach Layla how to rinse her mouth and spit out the water. No matter how many attempts to show Layla how its done, she would simple drink the water. I started with water because I didn't want her to ingest mouthwash. Who would want to drink that anyway?! Up until recently Layla would drink her water any time she had to rinse and me trying to show her how to do it was driving me nuts. How do you explain to a 2 year old she needs to "spit" it out. Poor L had no idea what "spit" meant. Its almost like trying to teach a second language to a person who isn't fluent in anything but Chinese. Thankfully we are at a point where Layla is able to speak more. I love being able to communicate with her. Even though sometimes what she is saying just doesn't make any sense. She is getting so big now is in full swing of the Why? phase. Although, the question Why? to a simple thing like Why is the grass wet, can only bring up so many answers. Because Grandpa just watered it. Why? Because the grass is thirsty... Why?   Cause it hasn't rained in a long time... Why? Because this is California where it lacks rain. And of course the whys continue. I am only come up with so many answers before shortly I run out of reasons. I guess thats what being a parent is all about though right? Teaching you child or children the mysteries of life. Obviously California not raining that much isn't a mystery. But I look forward to finding out the many mysteries of life with Layla no matter how many answers I have to seek. Or lessons I have to teach. Teaching her how to spit has been a highlight of my mommy career so far because I never thought I would I would be teaching her to spit. How lady like! Here is a couple snap shots of just how good she is getting! Hehe 

 

                                     

Disneyland with Auntie Melissa

Every time my sister comes to visit we try and do as many things to keep her entertained. This summer like last we chose to do Disneyland as one of our main highlights. I am not sure who likes going there most. My sister, Layla or myself. I will not try and even argue that one. I think the only reason I love going there is because I get excited for Layla. Just to see the look on her face is priceless to me. We took my nephew as well who loves it just as much but usually sleeps a good deal of the time and he is really hard to shake out of it (trust me we've tried) Here is some of the pics I took 

I LOVE YOU!

So for the last 2 1/2 years Laylas version of I love you has always been sort of wub wub. Cutest thing ever... Today for the first time she says I love you! Its a simple reminder that my baby is no longer a baby, but a toddler. A simple reminder that my baby is growing up. I love having only one child because all my attention gets to go to her and I get to focus on all these changes that pass so fast. Even the simplest ones. Layla will soon be three and every day she gets bigger and gets smarter. I will always treasure each and every moment with her.                                                                                 Wub Wub Layla
                                                                                               xoxoxoxox

Mall Playdate

Food Truck What?

So I know in the life of Layla and the many outings we take there are hopefully not going to be many of these but few. I got free tickets to a food truck festival so I thought why the heck not? Well let me tell you why not.

Because I have a two year old who shouldn't have to suffer in the heat no matter how lightly she is dressed.

Because my two year old shouldn't have to wait 45 minutes to find something to eat. 

Because I don't want to wait 45 minutes to try something that I can get sitting down at a restaurant. 

Because there wasn't enough walking space and sitting areas for people once they got their food.

I know I know... there are many things that most likely could have fixed all my issues, but I assumed this was going to be a fun outing. I was wrong. After waiting 30 some minutes just for fries, and seeing how long all the lines were compared to the one I just stood in,  I knew it was going to be a long hot day. I thought maybe we would be better off going to a restaurant. And so we did... Acapulco here we come! Turns out a restaurant was a much better answer that day. Kids were sweating like crazy out in that heat and people passing out... I didn't want to chance it Layla getting heat stroke... Oh and Layla had her first chance of going in to a casino! Start em young, just kidding... We passed through to get to the parking structure. Grandma hit the slots spending a big 5 bucks she doubled. Layla and I of course watched from the sidelines.

Definitely one outing we can skip next year

Movie Date!

The first time I took Layla to a movie she was freshly two years old. Not knowing what to expect or if she would even last through it, I picked Alvin and the Chipmunks Ship Wrecked. It was a great movie, she loved all the singing and she even danced a bit. This was our second movie date that me and her have done together. I wasn't sure if the Lorax would be something she would sit though, but once again, my doubts were misleaded and she enjoyed the whole movie, once again dancing during the credits... I think as she gets older movie dates with become a regular.

Waiting to get our pop corn and treats

Gummy Bears Anyone?

Mama and Layla

Shhhh Its Starting

I love this girl!

Letters That Hit Home

This morning I received an email from a previous co-worker that I had become friends with over the course of the last few years. She wrote me a letter that really touched me and made me think about my job as a mother. At times I can say that I am not the most patient person, and yes Layla sometimes drives me a little cooky. I sometimes question myself, do I give her enough love. Am I doing MY best. Probably a lot of questions that come to my mind may also come to yours. All the worries about motherhood you never thought about when you were pregnant. The guilt, the fears, all the little worries about your new position in life. It was really nice to read what she wrote, not to bring to light that I am doing my best, but to just hear that someone else might see that I am trying to do my best. I thought I'd share what she wrote:

Hey,

I just wanted to let you know that i admire how much you dedicate yourself to Layla.
I've been noticing that parents our age are not doing a good job, they dont put their children first and don't care enough about family and bonding time.
It's really refreshing to see how selfless you are, that takes a lot of strength. I hope one day, when I have a child, that I will be able to dedicate so much of my time like you have been able to do with Layla!
Your doing good, keep her close

- Dalyce

As my friend see's it, I can only hope that Layla will one day see it the same way. That everyday through the ups and downs, smiles, laughs, tears, melt downs, that I did try my best. Layla is my world and I wouldn't trade it for anything. When you have a child its a new chapter in life. And all though you may miss the things you use to do before you had a child. It will never be the same. I love being a mom. A crazy mom to be more exact :)

Park Playtime

Just another wonderful day at the park.

Slides Of Fun!

Another day at the park isn't always what it seems.
Thinking we would come play, swing and slide turned out to be about 90% slide.
Layla is big enough now to ride the slides without me worrying about her going down and landing on her face.
Right now seems to be the perfect time for the park, its not too hot and definitely not too cold. I'm loving this weather.
Layla still doesn't like grass so I don't have to worry about her running off too far.

She points to all different things, like trucks, cars, boys, girls, and dogs.

Layla is definitely becoming more aware of her surroundings and I love it!

She makes me laugh and as much as a 1st time mother should worry, I don't. I have my mother that does enough worrying for the both of us.
To finish our park time I decided to get Layla an ice cream. It doesn't look so bad
in the pictures, but it was ten times WORSE lol...
I had to take her dress off that was dripping in ice cream.
One question,
Does your baby poo in blue?
Mine does!

Yes, the days at the park are fun, and relaxing. Layla definitely loves those days!

Kisses!

Layla finally gives kisses!
For the longest time she wouldn't!
I love my Layla Bug!

Happy Changes

This month has brought upon us, a desire for change, and as well unwanted changes and challenges. On a happier note I should make a list of some of the good fortunes that have come our way. As of today I have finished the 12.5 credits I needed to obtain my high school diploma. That means I have achieved something I have been trying to get for a long time. It might not sound like a lot, but I have been very upset with myself ever since I didn't graduate in 2004 with the rest of my class. The subjects that I disliked the most were the ones I had to finish, so I basically slugged my way through them the past six months. Thankfully I made it! Another wonderful thing is coming our way is my baptism into the Catholic religion. I always wanted to go through this process, I never knew how to. Doors opened and the opportunity came about and I ran with it. This nine month course has opened my eyes and I think although Easter time is coming close and the course will be over, the journey continues and that is something I cant wait to share with Layla as she gets older. I think the biggest change that is very new to Layla especially, is having to share me. Changes are inevitable, I just hope the changes that are coming about are changes that shape my future for the best. I am trying to avoid bumps and potholes in the road. Follow the light

So Far,,,,

So far, I have sent the invites, bought everything except the food, and had Laylas outfit custom made. Hopefully everything else falls into place. I am hoping for a good turnout and that those able to make it can come and celebrate Laylas first year of life. For me, it's a bittersweet feeling. I am sad that a year has gone by and that she is growing from baby to toddler. Time does really go by so fast, in a blink of an eye. At the same time, I am happy that Layla is growing into a beautiful happy little girl. The first year I have been so thankful to be able to see her grow and take each new moment and capture it. I am hoping that this party marks a special mark in my life as well as Laylas. I have grown and Layla has grown, but most importantly we have grown together <3

Pumpkin Patch 2010

October

Today is the first day of October... what a wonderful month. It comes with alot of birthdays of loved ones, including myself :) And also the promise of another wonderful holiday. This year is different as previous years though, this year is the first year I have a daughter to celebrate with. Which is wonderful because last year I missed Halloween due to being on the road making my way to California. So far Layla has her kitty costume (pics to come), her trick or treating pumpkin for all her little treats. I have been counting down the days to the pumpkin patch. It will be very exciting for me as I can't wait to see the look on her face from seeing all the new things. Of course I know she won't comprehend all of this, and everyone says oh she won't remember. But I strongly believe that although she won't remember she will have lots of pictures to look back on when she is older. I think that alone can consist of great memories. Birthdays this month consist of my Mother, Uncle Sonny, and myself! I can't believe I am going to be 24... The past birthdays will not compare to this one, as I get to spend it with my Layla Bug! The only thing more I am looking forward to is the weather cooling down. It has been raining and thundering and lighting! All in all it is still warm! Yuck! I think its time for some snow, don't you agree?

Busy Like A Bumble Bee

The last few weeks have been chaotic. My brother recently got his son baptized, everyone was sick in our house, all the while trying to catch up on my school assignments. I am not to sure how I ended up with a touch of the flu, but at a moments notice I was out front of the baptism party throwing up in front of a bunch of my brothers little friends. Complete embarrassment. Oh well could have been worse, right? I don't think so... :) The whole 45 minute car ride home I was getting sick, thankfully I had a bag... It lasted about 3 days for me. After my first night, poor Layla caught on to my cold. She got sick 4 times. I think it always hurts me when she is sick. I feel so helpless except to try to make her experience a little more comforting. Last but not least my mother was sick for about 2 days. My dad was lucky enough to be out of town to miss the excitement. Now that everyone is better we are getting back on track. Laundry, cleaning, school, church. The only thing I am wondering is when Laylas teeth are going to come in. :) The Dr. said it is better for the teeth to come out later so I am not too concerned. Soon enough we hope she starts walking. As for now she just crawls everyone, up the stairs and outside. Tonight I noticed her even trying to come down the stairs backwards. I know there is only a few months left until she turns the big one so I am trying to soak it all in. She is such a beautiful baby and I am one heck of a proud mama!

Everyday...

Its been 9 months since I had Layla. Although my life has changed so much around me, I wonder what it's like for Layla. Not so long ago was she inside my womb in the safety of my body. Everyday she sees new things, new creatures, new sounds, and new smells. Watching her through my eyes is a wonder. I know there are days where I am so tired and wishing I could sleep for a week. Anytime Layla smiles and shows har happiness and wonder for life, I have to just stop and think, how could I miss this for a second?! Everyday she brings something new to my life as she encounters new things. Its amazing! I live for her now because everything I have missed out on as a child, and not remembering the simplicity of life, has come back. So many things we take for granted everyday. Like the amazement of walking, movement, being mobile. Those are some of the little things in life that only an infant be so happy about. I mean I know I am thankful to be able to walk, but I never think about it. An infant is happy when they can get to that special object they want, we on the other hand do it and think nothing of it. The little things in life I am learning to appreciate because I see them so different through my daughters eyes. Everyday is beautiful and something worth celebrating. Layla is everything to me, everyday.